[He's just going to start wading in the sea of comforters, tugging at the white ones just to see if there's anything underneath. There's not. All he's doing is getting dirty looks from the employees for messing up the bedding displays.]
Maybe we could get a white one and dirty it up. Wonder if we can get one with rats in it or something.
[That is definitely not going to be sold here but let him hope.]
[Good lord, right for worst-case pattern scenario with this guy. ...Aizawa can appreciate the unique awfulness of the mental image.]
That sounds right up our friend Jim's alley, though if this place actually carries something that ugly it'd be both impressive and concerning.
[WHO WOULD EVEN BUY THAT....unless they're hate-buying. Maybe hate-buying would be the point? The aisle Aizawa's stepped into is just as boringly white as the area before it, though, so maybe they won't be able to find out how far the Towers can go for its bed patterns after all...
He steps back out with a frown, glancing over to Zoro at the suggestion.] Sure seems like there's nothing but white here. But buying one just to dirty seems like a lot of effort, don't you think? ...This store's policy on rats is probably also too stringent for that...
[Yeah that's super unlikely Zoro--though a conveniently packaged rat or two would certainly make things easier for them, wouldn't it? Ah well. In the meantime there seems to be only white disappointment here...] I'm not sure where the colored bedsheets are actually supposed to be around here. We shouldn't waste too much time looking...what else is on that registry?
[His new "friend" makes good points. This savanna of white is neverending and it's already been ten minutes. Zoro glances back at the registry. An espresso machine–too much money; dishware sets–too useful. Hm.]
There's a lot of bathroom stuff. Do you know what a "toilet caddy" is?
[Asking mostly out of curiosity. Whatever it is sounds more helpful than he would like to get their faceless tormentor.]
Maybe we could get him a bar of soap. It's not on here but it would still count, right?
Toilet caddy? If it's anything like a shower caddy it's probably for holding toilet-related things. Sort of like a set of small portable shelves... [He rubs at one of his eyes absently, looking over in the vague direction of the bathroom department.] Those sorts of things are fairly useful, so we probably don't want to get anything like that. ...A bar of soap sounds sufficiently low-effort and low-value, though. There's plenty of disgusting-smelling soaps out there, too.
[Like, there are peppermint-scented soaps out there?? Truly revolting. Sounds like it counts as far as Aizawa's concerned, anyway; the idea appeals enough that he's starting towards the bathroom department already now, ideally with Zoro following. Unless Zoro has his own ideas about directions again.....
Over his shoulder, as they go:] Wedding shopping's something I had no plans to do anytime soon. We're getting very valuable experience right now, aren't we? [The sarcasm is dry as a desert over here. Honestly though, things he wasn't expecting to do today or ever: ruminate over the values of toilet caddies and bath soaps with a guy he barely knows as gifts for some other guy neither of them even like.]
[Sarcasm meets sarcasm. Zoro lucked out with his random dialing. He lags behind Aizawa but still follows, poking and prodding at the mysterious contraptions that line the way.]
No shaggy Mr. or Mrs. in your future?
[A question cut short by a wrinkled nose. The scented soaps are nearby.]
[This really is going pretty well considering they've known each other for all of about ten minutes so far, isn't it? Shaggy though, wow, no need to be rude Zoro?? Aizawa scoffs a bit from up ahead, pausing to examine a rack of feather dusters(??) and idly pick one up for inspection, turning to answer.]
No, can't say it is. I--
[It just--crops up so naturally, that's maybe the most alarming part of it. He's not even trying particularly hard to think back, or anything, but one thought's leading to another with the topic of conversation at hand and suddenly he's remembering--
"Eraser?! Eraser, is that you?!"
Delighted chatter. A lot of laughing. A beaming woman he's never met before in his life striding up, demanding they get married. And he shoots her down immediately, of course, with the weariness of having done it a dozen times before, because your jokes are as impenetrable as ever--]
[The face Aizawa makes for a second or two is kind of indescribable and I really need to make an icon of it eventually but it's basically this one.
The memory's there and gone with a blink, but there's still a distinct sense of being kind of blindsided. Aizawa fumbles and drops the duster, bends down to retrieve it with a sharp exhale as irritation surges in to replace surprise.] ...Well, damn.
I--what? [Zoro what do hippos have to do with....no, you know what, that's. Not important. He's not on the right mental footing to try making sense of that anyway. Aizawa shakes his head, partially to Zoro and partially to himself but mostly in an attempt to clear out the disorientation that's still kind of there and unsettling. The duster is hung back up brusquely, on the wrong rack.] ...I'm not. Marriage would be a hassle, but that's all. I just...
[He frowns off down the aisle at nothing in particular. (What kind of nickname is "Eraser"?)]
...Remembered something, I guess. [Great. Great. So much for trying not to get any of those. Aizawa resumes moving, stepping past Zoro without much further delay, nonchalant air pulling back into place but still offset by the frown that doesn't leave his features.] Are those the soaps over there?
That must be a pretty terrible marriage to leave you that traumatized.
[Just a bit of. Unwanted commentary there for you, Aizawa. He doesn't help point out the soaps. He just lags behind, figuring the horrible scent of 100 scented candles will lead the way.]
[Wow Zoro he's working so hard to change the subject here?? Why are you calling his facial expressions out like this. Aizawa grimaces, simultaneously not helping his own case but also half-wishing they were still mocking a sea of white bed comforters now. Those were simpler times...why couldn't they have just kept doing that.....]
Who said anything about being traumatized? --There wasn't a marriage. There's never going to be a marriage. [Irritably steps into the soap aisle!! It...really is about as bad as 100 scented candles. This may have been a mistake, but he's already committed himself to this direction, so he's going to just. Start scanning the shelves now, distractedly.] Somebody used to keep asking me, apparently. But it was always a joke. Always trying to get a laugh out of me.
[Well, so much for changing the subject now, either way. Aizawa scowls at a package of lime green soaps, and then looks back over to Zoro with the scowl still in place.]
I don't know why I know this now. I've never met that woman in my life.
It's one of those memories. You've heard about them, right? A week or two ago I remembered this one woman's whole life story. They just happen. Some people say they're caused by triggers.
[Which seems likely. His tone suggests that he doesn't really give it much thought. They come, he deals with them, that's enough. What good would knowing their origins do him?
Zoro finally enters Scent Hell and picks up arbitrary soaps based on how repulsive he finds the color. The first is a muddy lilac that smells like lavender and frogs. He holds it up for Aizawa to smell.]
Marriage is a weird thing to joke about. Unless you're a comedian, I guess. Maybe a stand-up comedian had the hots for you.
[...He was already suspecting as much at this point, honestly, but there's something about hearing it out loud--and so matter-of-factly, at that. It's simultaneously off-putting and...grounding? A bizarre combination that takes a bit of processing. Aizawa's silent for a moment, wordlessly accepting the soap from Zoro and taking a sniff for himself.
Lavender and frogs is not a super great combo, as it turns out. He grimaces again, but it's only half because of the soap.]
...I've heard, yes. I was hoping to avoid them for at least a fair amount of time. Thought I was doing a decent job of it, too...wasn't expecting a marriage topic to be the end of my streak.
[Dave had warned him it could be set off by literally anything, yes, but even still...well. So much for that, either way. He sets the soap back on the shelf.]
Somebody's entire life story seems excessive. I'm pretty sure I didn't get that much. But for some reason I'm also pretty sure it had nothing to do with "hots". Comedy would suit her, but...no, she was something else. Some kind of--
[Some kind of what? Something familiar. She was an old coworker--teaching? No, not just that, but also...
The word feels like it's right there, but for some reason it just won't solidify in his head. And in the end it never gets a chance to, because it's around this same time that something extremely green and not-soap-shaped catches Aizawa's attention on a lower shelf.]
--Hold on, what's that down there? That's not soap. ...Is that a loofah?
[And then–he sees it. There, shining, a beacon pointing the way towards freedom. Everything Aizawa said that mattered that he probably could have assisted with goes out the window in favor of the disgusting half-Hulk (called, The Bulk in Recolle) green loofah. The Bulk's torso is squishy. Zoro squeezes it.
It squeaks.
His neck practically snaps from how fast he turns to Aizawa.]
Honestly, by comparison, any troubled musings about marriage or unbidden memories or mystery coworkers is just peanuts compared to this; Aizawa can't even be offended by the abrupt shift in topic, because he's just as entirely taken with the loofah as Zoro is right now.
From the angle on that lower shelf he'd half-thought he was just seeing things, but...no. No, that loofah really is that hideous. It squeaks, and Aizawa looks up to Zoro at the exact same time Zoro turns to him, both their thoughts likely synchronizing perfectly in this moment.]
...Absolutely. I'm not sure there's anything out there to actually top it. [...God, look at it--] Is that the Bulk sticking out of it? It looks like a child's toy. Somebody must have picked it up from another part of the store and then left it here with all these soaps...
[Aizawa shakes his head, and shifts to reach for the wallet in his back pocket.]
I'm willing to accept this stroke of luck. Is there a price tag on it somewhere? I suppose we'll split the cost...
[Zoro scours the whole thing, even peeking into its loofah frills for a price tag. Finally he finds one, a bit scratched and falling off of the Bulk's... base.]
Here. On the Bulk's bulk. [Mature.] It says two bucks.
[The look he gives Aizawa is one shared between two brothers in arms.]
[In this moment, two men in an aisle full of 100 different scented bath soaps have probably never had a closer connection of mutual understanding.
But the look Aizawa gives Zoro at that line is still pretty withering, because even brothers in arms need to judge each other sometimes.]
I'm going to pretend I didn't just hear that, and you're going to pretend you didn't just take the cheapest shot in the book at a poorly thought-out superhero name.
[The "Bulk", honestly, who gave that name a green light anyway? If you're going to name a hero at all...
...A hero....
The woman he's never met from a memory he's never had still laughs at him from the back of his mind. Used to be a coworker once. They both used to
...
Ridiculous. Aizawa finally fishes a dollar out of his wallet, and dispassionately offers it Zoro's way.]
Anyway, Jim should be thankful. I doubt any of his other gifts are going to be as unique as this one.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[He's just going to start wading in the sea of comforters, tugging at the white ones just to see if there's anything underneath. There's not. All he's doing is getting dirty looks from the employees for messing up the bedding displays.]
Maybe we could get a white one and dirty it up. Wonder if we can get one with rats in it or something.
[That is definitely not going to be sold here but let him hope.]
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That sounds right up our friend Jim's alley, though if this place actually carries something that ugly it'd be both impressive and concerning.
[WHO WOULD EVEN BUY THAT....unless they're hate-buying. Maybe hate-buying would be the point? The aisle Aizawa's stepped into is just as boringly white as the area before it, though, so maybe they won't be able to find out how far the Towers can go for its bed patterns after all...
He steps back out with a frown, glancing over to Zoro at the suggestion.] Sure seems like there's nothing but white here. But buying one just to dirty seems like a lot of effort, don't you think? ...This store's policy on rats is probably also too stringent for that...
[Yeah that's super unlikely Zoro--though a conveniently packaged rat or two would certainly make things easier for them, wouldn't it? Ah well. In the meantime there seems to be only white disappointment here...] I'm not sure where the colored bedsheets are actually supposed to be around here. We shouldn't waste too much time looking...what else is on that registry?
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There's a lot of bathroom stuff. Do you know what a "toilet caddy" is?
[Asking mostly out of curiosity. Whatever it is sounds more helpful than he would like to get their faceless tormentor.]
Maybe we could get him a bar of soap. It's not on here but it would still count, right?
[It's bathroom-y.]
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Toilet caddy? If it's anything like a shower caddy it's probably for holding toilet-related things. Sort of like a set of small portable shelves... [He rubs at one of his eyes absently, looking over in the vague direction of the bathroom department.] Those sorts of things are fairly useful, so we probably don't want to get anything like that. ...A bar of soap sounds sufficiently low-effort and low-value, though. There's plenty of disgusting-smelling soaps out there, too.
[Like, there are peppermint-scented soaps out there?? Truly revolting. Sounds like it counts as far as Aizawa's concerned, anyway; the idea appeals enough that he's starting towards the bathroom department already now, ideally with Zoro following. Unless Zoro has his own ideas about directions again.....
Over his shoulder, as they go:] Wedding shopping's something I had no plans to do anytime soon. We're getting very valuable experience right now, aren't we? [The sarcasm is dry as a desert over here. Honestly though, things he wasn't expecting to do today or ever: ruminate over the values of toilet caddies and bath soaps with a guy he barely knows as gifts for some other guy neither of them even like.]
no subject
[Sarcasm meets sarcasm. Zoro lucked out with his random dialing. He lags behind Aizawa but still follows, poking and prodding at the mysterious contraptions that line the way.]
No shaggy Mr. or Mrs. in your future?
[A question cut short by a wrinkled nose. The scented soaps are nearby.]
1/2
No, can't say it is. I--
[It just--crops up so naturally, that's maybe the most alarming part of it. He's not even trying particularly hard to think back, or anything, but one thought's leading to another with the topic of conversation at hand and suddenly he's remembering--
"Eraser?! Eraser, is that you?!"
Delighted chatter. A lot of laughing. A beaming woman he's never met before in his life striding up, demanding they get married. And he shoots her down immediately, of course, with the weariness of having done it a dozen times before, because your jokes are as impenetrable as ever--]
2/2 thanks for the quality regain zoro
The memory's there and gone with a blink, but there's still a distinct sense of being kind of blindsided. Aizawa fumbles and drops the duster, bends down to retrieve it with a sharp exhale as irritation surges in to replace surprise.] ...Well, damn.
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You look like you just watched a hippo give birth. Everything alright? Didn't know you were that freaked out by marriage.
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[He frowns off down the aisle at nothing in particular. (What kind of nickname is "Eraser"?)]
...Remembered something, I guess. [Great. Great. So much for trying not to get any of those. Aizawa resumes moving, stepping past Zoro without much further delay, nonchalant air pulling back into place but still offset by the frown that doesn't leave his features.] Are those the soaps over there?
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[Just a bit of. Unwanted commentary there for you, Aizawa. He doesn't help point out the soaps. He just lags behind, figuring the horrible scent of 100 scented candles will lead the way.]
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Who said anything about being traumatized? --There wasn't a marriage. There's never going to be a marriage. [Irritably steps into the soap aisle!! It...really is about as bad as 100 scented candles. This may have been a mistake, but he's already committed himself to this direction, so he's going to just. Start scanning the shelves now, distractedly.] Somebody used to keep asking me, apparently. But it was always a joke. Always trying to get a laugh out of me.
[Well, so much for changing the subject now, either way. Aizawa scowls at a package of lime green soaps, and then looks back over to Zoro with the scowl still in place.]
I don't know why I know this now. I've never met that woman in my life.
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[Which seems likely. His tone suggests that he doesn't really give it much thought. They come, he deals with them, that's enough. What good would knowing their origins do him?
Zoro finally enters Scent Hell and picks up arbitrary soaps based on how repulsive he finds the color. The first is a muddy lilac that smells like lavender and frogs. He holds it up for Aizawa to smell.]
Marriage is a weird thing to joke about. Unless you're a comedian, I guess. Maybe a stand-up comedian had the hots for you.
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Lavender and frogs is not a super great combo, as it turns out. He grimaces again, but it's only half because of the soap.]
...I've heard, yes. I was hoping to avoid them for at least a fair amount of time. Thought I was doing a decent job of it, too...wasn't expecting a marriage topic to be the end of my streak.
[Dave had warned him it could be set off by literally anything, yes, but even still...well. So much for that, either way. He sets the soap back on the shelf.]
Somebody's entire life story seems excessive. I'm pretty sure I didn't get that much. But for some reason I'm also pretty sure it had nothing to do with "hots". Comedy would suit her, but...no, she was something else. Some kind of--
[Some kind of what? Something familiar. She was an old coworker--teaching? No, not just that, but also...
The word feels like it's right there, but for some reason it just won't solidify in his head. And in the end it never gets a chance to, because it's around this same time that something extremely green and not-soap-shaped catches Aizawa's attention on a lower shelf.]
--Hold on, what's that down there? That's not soap. ...Is that a loofah?
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[And then–he sees it. There, shining, a beacon pointing the way towards freedom. Everything Aizawa said that mattered that he probably could have assisted with goes out the window in favor of the disgusting half-Hulk (called, The Bulk in Recolle) green loofah. The Bulk's torso is squishy. Zoro squeezes it.
It squeaks.
His neck practically snaps from how fast he turns to Aizawa.]
This is it.
no subject
Honestly, by comparison, any troubled musings about marriage or unbidden memories or mystery coworkers is just peanuts compared to this; Aizawa can't even be offended by the abrupt shift in topic, because he's just as entirely taken with the loofah as Zoro is right now.
From the angle on that lower shelf he'd half-thought he was just seeing things, but...no. No, that loofah really is that hideous. It squeaks, and Aizawa looks up to Zoro at the exact same time Zoro turns to him, both their thoughts likely synchronizing perfectly in this moment.]
...Absolutely. I'm not sure there's anything out there to actually top it. [...God, look at it--] Is that the Bulk sticking out of it? It looks like a child's toy. Somebody must have picked it up from another part of the store and then left it here with all these soaps...
[Aizawa shakes his head, and shifts to reach for the wallet in his back pocket.]
I'm willing to accept this stroke of luck. Is there a price tag on it somewhere? I suppose we'll split the cost...
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Here. On the Bulk's bulk. [Mature.] It says two bucks.
[The look he gives Aizawa is one shared between two brothers in arms.]
I think we hit the jackpot.
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But the look Aizawa gives Zoro at that line is still pretty withering, because even brothers in arms need to judge each other sometimes.]
I'm going to pretend I didn't just hear that, and you're going to pretend you didn't just take the cheapest shot in the book at a poorly thought-out superhero name.
[The "Bulk", honestly, who gave that name a green light anyway? If you're going to name a hero at all...
...A hero....
The woman he's never met from a memory he's never had still laughs at him from the back of his mind. Used to be a coworker once. They both used to
...
Ridiculous. Aizawa finally fishes a dollar out of his wallet, and dispassionately offers it Zoro's way.]
Anyway, Jim should be thankful. I doubt any of his other gifts are going to be as unique as this one.